


Pivoting

by IReallyHopeThisMakesUsEven



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 07:15:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6601774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IReallyHopeThisMakesUsEven/pseuds/IReallyHopeThisMakesUsEven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warning: Miscarriage, if this is triggering do not read. Natasha is pregnant for about 6 weeks, she chooses not to tell Bruce. It starts when she begins to have the miscarriage leading to Bruce finding out. This being the ripple effect, in the end, it is supposed to be a representation of the growth in their relationship. It is an extremely fast-paced read, I hope you all like it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pivoting

**Author's Note:**

> IF ANYONE WOULD FIND THIS TRIGGERING DO NOT READ IT PLEASE.

When Natasha took her last kick at the punching bag, she felt a shift in her lower abdomen. Deciding to end her work out, she makes her way up the stairs from the basement going straight to their bathroom. Splashing her face with water, taking a few deep breaths to slow down her heartrate. 

Abruptly, she felt a sharp pain in the same place “fuck” she grunts clenching her fist. Natasha racks her brain around the possibilities for her pain. It could have been due to her work out, that she had eaten something bad. Maybe it was from her mission last week, feeling her stomach begin to cramp more and more the list got scarce. 

She closed her eyes trying to think of a reason other than an afflictive circumstance. Her one critical options that had become prominent, it was coming out of the shadows from where she kept it, back to bite her in the ass. 

Natasha took a test not even a month ago, her body quivered thinking about Bruce. She hadn’t told him about the pregnancy for many reasons, fearing the hurt and regret he would sink into. Instead deciding to repress her attention from the clump of cells growing into a small child in her. 

Now that there was a chance it was all over, almost as soon as it had begun, she thought of how he would take this all in. The distraught look on his face when he would find out the truth, whether she is having a miscarriage or not. Checking and seeing that there was some blood, her heart was in her throat, choking on her anxiety and discomfort. 

She kept herself balanced on the edge of the sink with one hand, looking in the cabinet with the other. Natasha grabbed a bottle of ibuprofen, opening the cap with her thumb and poured three capsules in her mouth. Turning on the faucet she sticks her head under the sink for water, lifting it to a knock at the door. 

“Natasha” she hears him say followed with another knock, cursing underneath her breath “are you alright?” He asks, his voice muffled through the door making her stop at his question. She began to compose herself for the capability of giving him a convincing response. 

“Fine, think I pulled something in my shoulder” her voice coming out strained, she listens waiting for him to walk away. He doesn't budge, the door knob twists slowly, she could only stand there. 

His face held a confused grimace, she stiffens knowing she had nowhere to hide “what’s wrong ‘Tasha?” She stands, weighing the odds in her head of her next move, picking out her next words.

“I think that” the hairs stand up on the back of her neck “well I’m sure” adding her hesitation “I'm having a miscarriage” she blurts out. Slowly picking her head up to meet frantic eyes, the anger had ingested him. 

His fingers curl into his palm while the color drains from his face “why didn’t you tell me?” Managing to hold back a yell, his nostrils flare while his face is pooled with apprehension.  
“You can’t blame me for not telling you” she winced immediately, disapproving of her rushed statement. 

The emotions on his face erupted into fury and bitterness “how could you say that to me?” He shouts. 

She doesn’t answer, the two stand to lock eyes until Natasha cringes softly from another cramp. He gritted his teeth “you need to see a doctor” he grumbles in response to her pain. Nodding in agreement, he let out a nervous huff looking at her with some concern “I’ll figure it out” he murmured. 

Turning his back to her and closing the door behind him, she listened as he took a few steps down the hall. A large bang to the wall followed by knocking off a few things on the table in the hall. Cursing then the flip of the table, Natasha began to focus on herself. She hopped in the shower, occasionally hearing him mumble on the phone to whomever.

Wrapping towel across her chest she steps out of the shower, entering the bedroom and grabbing clothing from her dresser. Sitting at the foot of her bed, pulling a shirt over her head she feels her muscles tightening with tension. Natasha settles against her headboard, a numbness that was once in her life for so long takes her. 

*Bruce POV 

Those four words that fell out of her mouth, a broken record of those four words were on repeat in his head. Shutting the door behind him, stepping out of the bedroom he walked a few paces then punched the wall. Knocking over whatever was on the hallway table, swearing then flipping it with a grunt. He heaved, closed his eyes for a breather trying his best to clear his mind like she does. 

Reaching for his phone out of his back pocket he made his first call to Tony then one to Helen. Getting a napkin from the kitchen, he applied pressure to one of his knuckles that broke the skin and had been bleeding down his dominant hand. 

He paced waiting for their arrival, trying not to listen in on Natasha stepping out of the bathroom. Sitting on the couch for a short period of time before standing up to pace the hall in wait. He had gotten lost in thought until the doorbell chimed, swinging it open abruptly. Tony, Helen and someone he had never seen before all stands at their front porch, Cho gives him a light smile. 

Stepping out of the way, the three walk through the threshold “I'll wait out here” Tony said while he gets comfortable on the sofa. Bruce shuffled the two doctors to their bedroom quickly hoping they wouldn't notice the table. He hears Helen start to talk before he closes it, turning back to Tony who was waiting for him in the living room. 

On a normal day, Tony would have his feet up with the television on asking for snacks. Now, he’s sitting silently with a distressed look on his face. Plopping down next to him Bruce tilted his head back with a groan, Tony stays quiet. “I don't know what to do” he mumbles with a whimper in his voice, sitting up to look at him

“Think about what she'd want, that's what Pepper always tells me to do” lifting up his head to look at him. Bruce starts to digest Tony's suggestion, giving a slow nod banking what was their best option. 

She needs space, more likely not wanting to see him after his reaction and the tantrum he just threw. He needed to fix this, using what he thinks is his best attribute, his mind to figure out where his biology went wrong. 

“I'm going to head over to the tower, going to run a few tests ” standing up to look for his keys. 

Tony sits there with a frown, disgruntled for his best friend “I'll be right behind you” he replies. 

Grabbing his jacket he turns to look back at Tony “tell her for me” they both exchange nods. Turning to the front door, he settled in the driver seat and sat there for a moment. Hitting the steering wheel a few times then placing his forehead against it. Bruce put his anger into drive, using it as his motivation something that his wife worked on with him, he backed out onto the main road. 

When arriving he struggles to get out of the car, wondering that it might be best to just turn back. It had gone too far, he's in for it but it would kill him not to try and contribute. At least he would get something out of a fight with Natasha, her safety, maintaining her health, giving her answers and attempting to look after her. 

He went straight to the lab, keeping his head low trying his best not to run into anyone. Hanging his coat on the back of his chair, putting his palm on the table he sighed in relief, feeling a bit of relaxation. He put his phone on the highest volume in case she was to call or text him.

Diving into work, running sperm and blood samples, he had tunnel vision. The only time he stopped was when Tony got back, looking ragged with a frown across his bottom lip. Bruce checked his phone to see that almost two hours had past since he got there “need any help?” Stark asked he seemed more sentimental and if he was filtering what he was going to say. 

The two had become unrestrained with their work, Tony would say comments here and there but Bruce didn't open his mouth once. 

It all became a blur until Tony tapped him on the shoulder making Bruce shudder. He motioned towards the door, looking at the time to see that it was three in the morning. Following him with some drag in his feet, the two plop down on the couch adjacent to each other. 

Tony lying down on the loveseat with his feet dangling off the edge, while Bruce sits in an armchair. Letting out a grunt made Tony turn his head over to Bruce who was running his hand through his hair. 

“Quit beating yourself up,” he tells him with a light comforting smile on his face. Trying and failing to register his advice his thoughts instead overwhelmed him, his mind began to race again. 

Natasha would have said something along the lines of ‘that's like asking water not to be wet’ with her famous smirk across those lips. Bruce let out another groan putting his face in his hands, the idea of her not being playful with him. Her hating him for leaving, for hurting her becomes unbearable and a possibility. 

He heard a sigh “there's a chance that it isn't your fault” Tony interjected making Bruce's head snap up. Holding his hands up in a defensive fashion “it's a fifty percent probability, instead of splitting hairs you should talk to her first” he adds.

Tony was trying to keep his mind away from the guilt but had just made Bruce think of another reason to feel it. Wondering of the possibility on her part, not to blame her but only to start to see this in her perspective. “She must so isolate” Bruce whispers, hoping she didn’t despise him for what he did to the hall. Reflecting back on his actions, the fight and his outburst as if he was a child. 

He could tell the demeanor of Tony was changing the more he continued to sit there “she doesn't want you to be like this. I promised her that I would bring you back in a better mood” his tone sarcastic. Trying to use all his techniques he knew in order to pull him out of this and Bruce would always appreciate that. 

“You hadn't always wanted kids, was Pepper the one to change your mind?” Bruce asks out of curiosity, Tony's face gets contorted by the question. He was attempting to change the conversation to a more positive subject for him. 

“In certain ways, yes but I had to find that out myself, facing death more than once made me realize things but losing friends really kicked me into perspective” he shrugs. 

Bruce could tell by the look on his face, Tony felt that whatever he said would just make things worse. He hadn’t wanted to drag him along like this “I should get going.. would you want to drive me home?” Tony face immediately brightens up “I think I’m too tired to drive,” he says while rubbing his eyes. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. bring the car around” Tony shouts, the two get off the couch walking to the front door. Tony pats him on the shoulder in support, Bruce gave him a sympathetic smile in exchange. 

The car ride was quiet for the most part, Tony would occasionally say something but Bruce would just nod or huff. Feeling the anxiety build in his throat the closer he stubbed to home. 

*Natasha POV 

Opening one eye, looking to find that it is nearly three in the morning, moaning as she gets out of bed. Feeling like she had only taken a cat nap, reaching over to check her phone to see if Bruce had tried to contact her. 

Nothing, though there were a few texts from Tony reassuring her that he will take care of him. Glancing over to see his side of the bed, wondering if it were better that he left, she felt at ease without him. Most nights when she woke without him next to her she felt a yearning, now it was numb. 

Natasha struggled to get him off her mind, she began to list things he was most likely doing at this moment. Groaning and covering his face with his hands was her first choice while Tony was trying to cheer him up. Though Tony did have his flaws, he always stood by him, the two gave each other an odd balance. 

After seeing the hallway she knew what needed to be said, she wasn't going to yell at him. Natasha was going to put him in his place, breaking things and running away was juvenile. If she would have told him sooner than it might have been smoother, that was her fault. 

Picking up her glass on the nightstand and the remote, she finished her water while searching the channels. Propped up against the headboard, shortly she felt her eyes begin to feel heavy beginning drift off. 

They snapped open when she hears footsteps coming to the front door, they were too uneven to be his. Listening as they get the code to the front door wrong a few times, she grabs her gun. The one she’d always kept underneath her night stand, walking out of the bedroom she pointing it straight at the door. 

Watching the black figure that she had recognized but would not break her position. As he came to the realization of her presence the figure held his hand In front of his body. “You might not want to do that” the rasp in his voice sounded rough. 

Pointing her pistol down, putting it on a side table“you haven't slept” Natasha exhaled harshly.

Flinching when Bruce turns on the light, then adjusting as he dimmed the switch.She observed his physique, shoulders slumped, clothing and hair ruffled, his bag under his eyes prominent.

The frown on his face that she had seen too often, his body growing stiffer by the second letting the tension get to him. Feeling a small amount of sympathy for him, though she enjoyed watching him grovel. 

“I’m sorry for the way acted and for leaving, ” he utters, she could hear the ache in his voice letting the guilt suffocate him. 

“I’m happy you didn’t stay,” she tells him bluntly, his head comes looking at her with heavy-hearted eyes. “We both needed time” she countered, trying to make her statement easier to swallow. Wrapping her arms across her chest, giving him the idea that she was going to stand her ground. 

“It shouldn't have to be like that” he grumbled, surprised that he would seem so attached to her. 

“I wasn't ready to tell you, Bruce, you weren’t either and it was over before either of us were... adequate to understand ” she watches as his face twists. 

He walked a few steps towards her “you don't know that” he snaps, his tone sharp. 

She had already prepared “I think today proves that” she watches her statement paralyzed him with torment. “I'm not saying this to hurt you, though you can't blame me for having that impression” she retorts. Turning on the light to down the hall, showing him the shambles of what he left. 

“Tony and I made down progress tonight with figuring out what went wrong, I need a few more days until I can figure it out. After that, I can take precautions, do whatever I have to” his jaw clenches. He was attempting to tell her his contribution to this situation, that he wasn’t just lying on Tony’s couch. 

Natasha was taken back by his statement “you aren't the only variable in this equation Bruce. You know I have my attributes” Bruce groans almost instantly. 

“I hate when he's right” he mumbles under his breath while running a hand through his hair. 

Natasha bites her lip “I don't want to know Bruce, either of us will end up resenting ourselves. I don't want that in our marriage” taking a few steps closer “though I appreciate your input” she adds. “We both need to take precautions, decide together how we want to proceed” work as a team she’d implied. 

He stepped closer, about an arm's length apart now “Tasha, I'm sorry” the sleep deprivation and the guilt were overcoming him. The look on his face showed he didn't have much longer till a breakdown. “I should have been there for you” looking up at her slowly, moments like this she could see the child in him. Picturing him with getting his hand caught in the cookie jar scenario by his mother. He looked at his mother the same way he's looking her in this moment, except then he might have cried. Now showing emotion in that way for him was far away, even for this instant. 

“I’m not innocent either” if she had told him sooner maybe he would have stayed by her side today. He might not have punched a hole in the wall, a possibility of him not feeling as much guilt as he is now.

He shook his head “no this is on me, you knew I would do this, run from this and I did exactly what you thought I would. I'm the problem” his lip started to tremble until he clamped it down between his teeth. “Punching holes in the wall and flipping table are childish acts, I need to be a husband” his forehead creases. Unfortunately, he'd always been her soft spot, especially when he gave her those puppy eyes. He shook his head lightly before falling to his knees, putting his face in his hands. 

He gave out a violent heave, she knew he wasn't going to cry, she kneels down in front of him. “I’m sorry” he cried out, hearing the pain in his voice she couldn't help but feel like the source of hurt. Natasha wanted to reach out and sooth him, instead she knew that she couldn’t coddle him after his actions. 

Wetting her lips then taking a deep breath “Bruce,” she says with a stern tone, their eyes meet “I don't want to go through that again” her voice stays firm. Not giving into his pain, she needed to make sure that the situation was dealt with. Between the look and her tone, she was saying much more. 

Natasha was making sure he knew that she didn't want to try and explore the possibility of their ability to conceive, not in the slightest. No longer having the urge or that sense of loss that she had talked about years ago with him. The miscarriage had subsided that want to bear her own children whether permanent or not. She needed him on the same page as her like they had been. Once he was there with her, then she might be able to ease up. “We can adopt, it’s safer” Bruce nods in agreement, “it still seems hypothetical” he adds. 

“I had only known not even a full month Bruce” his jaw clenched again, to him it was too long. For her, it wasn’t long enough, either circumstance they would not come out on top that being easier to digest for her than him. “You have to understand that for the longest time I thought I couldn’t and neither could you.” She knew he couldn’t argue with that, he gave another nod to show his support. Natasha began to defrost her emotions towards Bruce, quicker than she had thought. 

“I want to put this behind us,” she said softly sounding less reserved, he nods instantly. 

Catching his breath, he ran a hand through his hair “whatever you need” he tells almost coming across as protective. “I'll sleep on the couch for a year if that's what you'd want,” he says, she laughs softly to herself knowing it was his way of lightening the mood. His eyes light up instantly when hearing her laughter, he began to look less rigid. 

“I will show you some courtesy, you've had a long night but only if you were your nose strips” his snoring had driven her up the wall. She could tell he wanted to touch her, She reached over and rubbed his arm making him tremble at first. Natasha motioned for the two to get up off the floor, standing herself up. 

She waited “I have something to take care of first,” Bruce says getting up and walking over to the table. Giving him a smile, turning towards the room to give him space, she gets settled turning the T.V. back on. 

When Bruce finished, he knocked on the door first before walking into the threshold.“I’ll spackle the wall tomorrow,” he says with a sigh then enters the bathroom to change into pajama pants, one of his worn out t-shirts and nose strip. “If you want me to leave at any time” telling her before getting into bed, she pats the spot next to her. 

Turning off the television of the two got settled in bed,feeling an emptiness between their closeness. Most nights they would at least be touching if not cuddling but it was what they needed. Hoping that it wasn’t the beginning of the end, that it was a road bump on the end of the road. Making it harder for her to sleep, a cramp of anxiety ran in her chest leaving her awake. 

Tossing over to see Bruce already asleep with a calm and settled expression. Watching as he shifted towards her unconsciously, reaching over to grab her hand. He often did this in different ways, now it seemed to be a knee-jerk reaction to him. She gave it a soft squeeze, giving a soothing sense of relief and slight gratification, enough to feel herself drift.

**Author's Note:**

> If it feels like a did not focus enough on either characters emotions it is due to my desire to focus more on the relationship. I hope you all liked it, I'm still iffy about it overall.


End file.
